:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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