Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
