I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
