Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
