she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize