I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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