Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
