After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
