i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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