I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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