I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
