just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
