Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
