Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
