Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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