Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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