Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
