You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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