If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
