erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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