mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I FOUND THE LEGS
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
