You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
