i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
