is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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