Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
