i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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