Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it because I queefed?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
