Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
