The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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