boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
