all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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