That's intense
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
