Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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