I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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