She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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