And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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