I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize