Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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