he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
