I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
