on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
