ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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