On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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