Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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