Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
