i can't believe i had my finger in that
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize