Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
