He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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