Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
