Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
