let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize