Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
