Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
