I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
