i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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