we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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