yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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