Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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