I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize